It's 7:30 am, yes I could be sleeping in, the high school kids left, husband left, and the 4 year old is still asleep. (the oldest kid, not so much a kid anymore, worked midnight to 8 so he won't be home for another hour)
I decided to get up, and have my morning coffee in the quiet house. I don't get this very often. Time to think. Time for peace. Time to revive myself.
Fall is my favorite season. Also the hardest. Lost my Mom in October 2001. It was the most beautiful fall I can remember. I drove 4 hours a day through the Pennsylvania hills to be with her. She spent 6 weeks in the hospital. So this time of year brings a sadness with it.
Usually a sense of expatiation too. For my sister always came home when the leaves started changing. That is what we would tell the kids. They would ask when is Auntie coming? Look for her when the leaves start changing.... this year she isn't coming. She has a new job that she can't get the time. SO my mind keeps going to the sadness instead.
I know I should remember things. Happy memories.... which I do. But the sadness is still over shadowing it. Mom would get this was closer to November. Thanksgiving. She had to bury her first child in 1988. My brother Mike died the day before Thanksgiving that year. He had Cancer from the Agent Orange from the Vietnam War. He was 36. So I understand now, the sadness that overtook Mom every year.
I am trying to think more of the holidays approaching. What I would like to do for Christmas. Christmas is getting harder. The kids are getting older, things they want are more expensive... and they are difficult. The 4 year old is still really fun. Even the older kids really get into the thick of it. THAT kid is so SPOILED.
My dear husband is trying something new. Wine making. A friend got him started. I may look into some supplies so he can work alittle here. Our friend has been doing it for almost 10 years. Makes wonderful stuff. I really enjoy the sweet kind. I detest the dry stuff. But it's an idea.
Well.... I need to do some other things for "me" before the little one gets up, the older one gets home and I have to get ready for work...... I am off for now.
