July 19, 2013

My baby boy... first born will be 23 on July 21. So hard to imagine we have come this far. He has grown into a man that his Mom and Dad are so proud of. It's just hard to believe he is grown...... married.... with a 9 month old son of his own. Of course at his age, I was pregnant with #2.

I am resting and don't feel like typing much. Surgery sucks. You get to have time off but can't do anything! AND you are always so darn tired!

Sat. is my family reunion. I find them fun and refreshing on one had... and lonely on another. I just don't seem to "fit" in. My siblings and cousins are in their 60's - I am 43. My nieces and nephews are range from early 30's to 44. So yes I grew up with my nieces and nephews... but only as small children. When everyone became teens... they all kept together... I was miles away. Now I love seeing them all. I just don't feel like I belong....  

I just want something new.......

I just don't know where to begin. There is so much I'd like to do.... and not enough time. Here I am 40 something...  and I feel like life hasn't started. I am rolling along on a tide.... being swept away. God put me here for something. I just don't know what. I am just not happy. With me. I feel lost. And it's impossible to explain all this to anyone. Some days.... I just want to run away.

I have a need to create. But what am I suppose to do?? I know... sit, listen, and listen for him to tell me. Maybe I just don't sit long enough? Maybe I am not quiet enough?? Maybe I heard... but didn't like what I heard??

Wyoming, Summer 2013

Wyoming, April 2013

thoughts....

Are you ever tired of the life you lead? Not thinking of family. I am thinking of job...  house.... town.... state.... Ever wonder if there is somewhere else you are suppose to be??? Something else you are suppose to be doing??

Hubby and I have talked about these things. Our daughter is a Senior starting August.... so we decided we have a year to decide if we want to sell the house and move. Our youngest is in 1st grade this year... so moving won't be so hard on him. (Hopefully)

Ok...  here is the thing... my Hubby want to move south. North Carolina. We vacation there almost every summer. I ... want to move west. Wyoming.  Interesting huh? How to solve this? I'm clueless. I love OBX.
But I just felt something when I was out west visiting. Yes, I have 2 sisters in Wyoming. We have no family in North Carolina.

Here is the thing... we are different. We were raised with morals and principals of another era. We are disappointed in people and how there is no community... friendships... morals... in life now a days. How everything is going so fast. People just don't appreciate anything. Everything is disposable. From items to
people. I would like a life with less stress. A simple life with more giving. I found that in Wyoming. I felt refreshed and renewed. I had hope. I felt it wasn't too late to raise our youngest... with the same values we taught the older children.

Everything was slower. People friendly. Surprising enough,,, people smiled at you. A stranger... a new person. They talked to you like they knew you forever. Like you had always been apart of their community.

Past "a stones throw away" I don't know the people in my own neighborhood!

It's so open in Wyoming. I could breathe.... I'll just have to post some pics. When I was there... it wasn't even green and lush... and I wanted to stay....

Well...

I am back on today. I told myself I would. I put on a new profile pic. Would have liked to crop and edit. Couldn't figure out how. BUT I did get one on.

Its starting to be a nice day here in western Pa. The sun is out... and it's 70 degrees.... better than the last few weeks of rain and flooding. No one but Hubby is really up and moving. He's already in town getting supplies for dinner and the afternoon "list". We are getting older... and making lists seems to be the think to do. I personally like to be able to check of things accomplished.

Today...  "pigs" for dinner.  (pigs in a blanket, cabbage rolls, etc) Trying to put together the boys room. Some of the things on my list are hard. Considering I am not suppose to bend. Pick up anything over 5lbs. Push or pull. But with having surgery on July 2... I am feeling a lot better.

Fall in PA

Well... today was a rainy cold day. Typical fall in PA. BUT I love it. I wish I had, had my house to myself and could snuggle in my favorite clothes, in my favorite chair, with a glass of my personal favorite wine a good book.... with the scent of a veggie soup simmering on the stove..... but I was a work. Very slow day. I did accomplish my schedules from now till Dec. 25th.
Wonder what I can get into tomorrow????